It’s All Change On The Western Front

It’s been a weird 6 months, I appear to have been in mega ‘declutter your life’ mode.  You would have thought that giving birth to little dimples, and curly headed boy going to primary school would have been enough really, plus getting really sick.  But I appear to have been on a mission.

Maybe it’s because now I have two kids, there really isn’t any space for anything that is irrelevant or takes up time/space I can’t afford?  Did anyone else find a similar thing happened to them after having a second child?

I’m also much more aware of my age (41), and am having no problem in remembering to eat healthily or take vitamins and minerals that I probably wouldn’t have been reliable about beforehand.  I realised that if I’m to see my grandchildren, then some serious work needs to be done to get it into working order.  Perhaps it’s a big reality check that happens in your forties?

Or is it because it’s my ‘saturn return’ in astrological terms or ‘mid-life crisis’ in psychobabble terms?  My lovely astrologer (seriously, if you ever wanted to try it, he’s a lovely guy, brilliant value, very good at it and it doesn’t matter where you live) did say that it was hitting me this year.

I’ve found a wonderful woman locally who will take all the stuff  you just haven’t managed to get round to selling on ebay and do it for you (if you near St Albans and want her name, feel free to leave a comment below).  Although she takes a fee, I reckon that she makes more on the sale anyway, so it’s well worth it.  She took a car load, plus sold a bike and a dog kennel that got picked up from our home.  Then even better was the discovery of freegle (used to be called freecyle), which is a yahoo group where you can offer ANYTHING for free and within 24hrs it’s gone; FANTASTIC!

We had a flood from the shower, so downstairs is going to be refloored (we have holes in the floor from the dog scratching) and the walls painted in industrial child proof stuff!  So the house is getting a make over too.

I even in a fit of madness went from this, to this (plus yesterday I had all the grey dyed out!):

Meanwhile big northern hairy hubby is also at it, with a sudden fitness regime and a success at losing weight that he hasn’t had in 10yrs.  I think that we would both admit that our relationship needs a bit of polishing after all these years (21, how scary!), so there is change afoot there too.

The biggest change came as I decided what to do about my work.  I found it increasingly hard to work out how things would work with the second baby.  Now that I’m just focussing on Mums and am just overseeing my more general therapy business, it was easier, but also I realised that coordinating our schedules was almost impossible.  Plus for Mums I really needed to be able to provide incredible value for service for a really affordable price, but without making it pointless me working.  I was seriously considering just giving up work.  After all, I could be a stay at home mum (SAHM), and in the time I would normally work, I could get fit, look fab, and then when the kids leave school I’ll be about 60, so pretty much ready to retire.  There would be a hell of a lot less juggling to do.  But there would of course be the downside that I lose my sparkle when I don’t work at all, so I might look better, but I wouldn’t be much fun.

By the way, you might not know what I actually do?  I’ve updated by about page and background, just incase you are interested as to where I came from, and what my qualifications are.  But basically, I’m not a parenting coach.  I call myself a ‘mummy whisperer’, because I’m just here to help the mum to be clear on who they are, become more contented, get more sparkle in their lives, and create a strong family with less conflict and stress.  (There’s lots more information on this blog about the ‘fun creation equation‘ and my services, plus on my main site).

Then out of the blue I found my solution!  It’s so exciting, I’ve kept quiet about it all summer, because I wanted to show you what it would look like before I mentioned it.  I’ve found a way, that I can provide help for Mums ANYWHERE, at ANY TIME of the day, 24×7, ANY DAY of the week, for ANY LENGTH of time.  Plus the amount of stuff I’ve put in the package is well worth about £7000, but I can sell it from £379, with the option to pay by paypal/credit card over 3 months, so it is really affordable.  Plus, it will be there for the Mums FOREVER, to reuse over and over again, for that one price.  Plus, for anyone who can’t afford it initially, I’ve got a FREE INTRODUCTION, and will be adding a £27 product to help people sort out their finances.  It’s way better than just 1to1’s because all the information is there to be referred back to at any time, and better than workshops, because no one can slip through the cracks and pretend that they understand. (Please forgive me for the shouting in capitals, but I’ve been keeping quiet about this all summer, so I’m kind of over-excited!!).

‘So what on earth is it?’, I hear you ask (hopefully?!).  It’s using a product called **jigsawbox, funnily enough created by another Mum who must have been in the same situation as me.  It means that I can put my workbooks or workshops online into packages.  When you login, there will be different modules, inside of which will be videos, audios, and text explaining that particular subject.  Then to help you learn it properly there are exercises for you to fill out.  But the best bit is, when you press [send to coach], I can then add my own feedback, so we can interact online.  There will also be the option for free webinars, or to add 15min skype chats or longer 1to1 sessions for some Mums who need more assistance (for example, if there are relationship issues, PND, or past abusive relationships).

Now I haven’t done a video to show you properly yet, but I will do, so keep a look out for it.  But in the meantime, you can get a free introduction to this fab system, plus start to have a look at your own identity and how your family is working at the moment, by signing up for free email list (see RHS).  I’d love to know what you think, so please do leave comments below.

So how come has all this come about?  Well, it might sound a bit tree hugging, but I’m sure there is a vibe of change in the air.  I was too late to get involved in *** Josie’s (a well known mummy bloggerwriting workshop about change last week, but there seems to be a lot of it about.  It’s the jewish new year, and schools always start at this time of the year, so maybe we are all programmed to be thinking about it around now.  There are days when it feels exciting, and others when it feels very scary, and almost like I’m grieving for something being over.  I cried buckets on the last night of big brother, and when curly headed boy started school, but in a way they were just opportunities for a few tears to do with something deeper.  As my mentor says ‘the greatest transformation happens at the border of order and chaos’, i.e. nothing gets changed without some discomfort!  So onwards and upwards, one step at a time, is my motto at the moment.

Is life changing for you too, or is it just those of us in the mid-life crisis?

** I am now an affiliate of jigsawbox as well; of course, because I think it is fab, I want to share it with other coaches/therapist/trainers out there.  If you decide you like it after hearing from me, feel free to email me for more info, and I’d really appreciate you using my affiliate link.  I haven’t found anything else that even matches it a little, it has been going for over a year, so the kinks have been sorted out, and there is tonnes of support.

*** Josie is one of the 3 mummy bloggers who recently went to bangladesh with Save the Children, and have started a Press for Change campaign to push Nick Clegg to commit to making the huge rates of child mortality in third world countries a thing of the past.

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Are You Struggling Financially?

With the current recession, there are some winners financially, but in general most people seem to be down 10-30% if they are lucky, and then there are those people who have lost even more.  Of course, it can appear even more difficult if you are a parent, because there are so many ‘necessities’ for the family to get.

The problem with getting stressed about money is that the ‘brain noise’ surrounding it, will then cloud your mind to the potential opportunities out there to help you, plus mean that you are spending a lot of time worrying about what is, versus appreciating what you have.

At the very least, I hope that this blog will help you to sit down and reduce the stress by realising that whatever the challenges currently, you do have a value filled life.  At best, if you then follow on with the links to more tips that I have, then you will actually start to bring in more money.

Money is undoubtedly a complicated and emotional subject.  I’ve been running a ‘Financial Breakthrough’ workshop for some time in my ‘other life’ as the UK’s most senior Demartini Facilitator.  It’s not a workshop about becoming a millionaire (there are already tonnes of those in the personal development market!).  It’s just about becoming financially healthy.  In the process of my studies I discovered that there are 3 aspects to personal finances.

Firstly is you and your relationship with money, i.e. do you know how to actually manage it practically in a way that will bring more in, rather than let more out?  I have created an introductory and FREE podcast with some of the information about this aspect for you.  If you follow it, I promise it will help, just as it did for my other clients: <click here>

Secondly is your relationship with your financial heroes who you think have been really successful, which means that you think that they are better than you, which means you are not seeing your own potential.  The number of times people have said to me that they wanted to be the next Richard Branson, but they seemed totally unaware of the trials and tribulations that he had been through.  When offered his hair, teeth, children who think he is a wombat for trying to kill himself in a balloon going to space, and having to sell his most loved business, they often think again ;o)

Thirdly is you and your relationship with your financial anti-heroes who told you that money was bad or rich people were horrid, or that you didn’t deserve it.  It is important to understand that money is just an energy that you can quickly transfer into any area of life, nothing more, nothing less.  So, if you can see how money would help everything you love in life, and why you deserve it, then you are more likely to attract it.

Here is a tip for you, to improve your weekend, and help you love your life more, about appreciating what you have got:

When you give your kids something and they are really grateful, isn’t it enjoyable?  Don’t you just want to give them more?  When you do something or give something, and in the next moment they are moaning about something else that they don’t have or want, isn’t it unpleasant?  Doesn’t it make you want to automatically refuse?

The world works like this too.  It doesn’t matter whether you look at it from a spiritual perspective of ‘attracting’ energy, or a scientific energy of matching vibrations (a thought is a vibration), or a psychological one of a self-fulfilling prophecy, it still works.

I’ll give you a couple of real life examples, so that you can understand the difference.

Someone I know really well, attended my whole financial workshop, and a few weeks ago angrily told me that she hadn’t got any more money despite following my tips on managing money, just as I had explained.  Now, firstly I do focus on having more VALUE in your life, as much as MONEY, because money is meaningless and can easily just disappear out the door again.  But secondly I asked her about the new clients that I knew she had got, with her new business.  Her attitude was that she was going to get them anyway.  However, her lack of appreciation and belief in herself had snuck in and affected the client relationships, quickly losing her some of the new clients.  Plus because of her attitude she was unlikely to get anymore from the person who had sent them to her (i.e. me!).  Don’t worry, I’m sure she is already getting her head around this ‘blip’ and will be back on track asap ;o)

Or there was the client running a business, who complained that her revenue hadn’t gone up in the past couple of months.  However, when I pointed out that her costs where less, and therefore over-all she was making more, PLUS she wasn’t DOWN like most people in her business, it helped her to see things differently.

In comparison, there is a lovely writer I know, who when you meet her exudes a feeling of ‘richness’, even though it is obviously not in financial wealth.  She is probably one of the ‘richest’ people that I know, with a wealth of knowledge, and fascinating people that she has met, plus a great eccentric husband and two gorgeous daughters.  It wasn’t going to be in her value system (see my other blogs, or <pod> about values) to get the money needed to fix her house (beautiful location, but requiring a HUGE overhaul).  But I’ve never heard her whinge about it, and sure enough it looks as though things will get sorted out by the insurance peeps.

For me, the decision to move my main focus away from my ‘Dance of Life’ business which was focussed on people who had studied with Dr John Demartini (from the hit movie & book ‘The Secret’), towards my ‘Mummy whisperer’ business has had a financial affect.  However, I wouldn’t give back the summer where I actually got to play more with my son, in comparison to last year.  Plus, the value of greater health and feeling better in myself is unmeasurable.  I’m able to help hubby with the stresses in his work, plus most importantly I’m concentrating more of my energy on growing another little person in my tummy ;o)  There are things that I would love to have money to buy, but I wouldn’t give up what I’ve gained.

So, what do you have in your life today?  A house?  Children?  Family members?  What are those kids like, what do you get from them, what do they give you (apart from the headaches!)?  I may not have parents, but I do have a brother who attempts to fill the gap, plus a son I was told was impossible when I was 19, and a house and car.

What do you do?  Do you work, part-time work, stay at home, have any hobbies?  What do you get from it?  I couldn’t not work for my own sanity, but I’m blinking lucky to be able to work part-time, even if it isn’t currently the most lucrative job in the world.

How is your health and body doing?  Look around you, why are you lucky for the body you have?  Mine has miraculously got me pregnant again at 40, which is pretty good going considering it’s not meant to have a fertile bone in it’s body!  I might be on the ‘curvy’ side, but it all works and is pretty sturdy ;o)

Where is your wealth?  Is it your friends?  Your knowledge?  Your skills and abilities?  Your family?  Your spirituality?  Your potential finances when your business idea gets off the starter blocks?  Your enjoyment of your job?

Go on, get a cuppa and sit down tonight before bed and have a think about what you HAVE got, versus what you haven’t got.  At the very least you will wake up a more content person.  At best, I might be right and over the next couple of months you’ll improve financially as well!

Here’s a link to my hints and tips on ‘Counting Your Blessings’ and ‘Finding the Silver Lining’ They will help you too.

If you can master them, then there is a book that I really recommend you reading (if you are really up for doing something about your situation, plus have the time – that’s the biggest difficulty of being a Mum).  It’s called ‘How to Make a Profit and Still Get to Heaven’ by Dr John F Demartini.  (If you are local to me, I have a few spare copies).

Let me know how you do and if you would like some more tips for finding the value in your life.