When in the midst of attempting to make a decision or solve a problem there are a number of things that we often do:
- Worry & Panic!
- Ask Friends for advice
- Ask So called Specialists/Guru’s for advice
- Research ideas in books or the internet
But something we often forget to do is ask ourselves! Do you know what, we are quite wise really, and one of the reasons why it is often a good idea to ask yourself, is because you are really the only person who knows you, your situation and the surrounding issues intimately. I love a bit of brainstorming in order to sort the facts in my brain. But ultimately, actually remembering to ask myself what I would say to me if I was a friend/client in the same situation is the beginnings of discovering a solution.
The wisest people balance learning from both outside sources and themselves. Only listening to your own counsel would mean that you will happily ignore any concepts that are a little uncomfortable for you. Plus there is no way that anyone can know every possible fact or option! But only listening to other people, means that you are disempowering yourself and not believing in yourself. So what you are looking for is a little bit of both as an ideal balance.
Now sometimes I know we literally can’t hear ourselves think, because of all the brain noise in our heads. If that is your current problem, have a quick look through my blogs, because the whole reason for the ‘Mummy whisperer’ is to help you clear all that noise, and I may have blogged already on your current issue, or something similar. Meanwhile, find a pragmatic (grounded, down to earth & practical) friend, who will help you get a reality check on your fears and guilts. I’d recommend avoiding the sympathetic ones, because although we need a little bit of support sometimes, it doesn’t tend to actually get us out of the pit we dug ourselves.
Or is it because you can’t see an option which works for you and your family? Then quite likely you are in one of those situations where more time is needed, because you just don’t have all the necessary information yet. Check out my blogs about decision making, because they may help you on how to identify the missing information.
So, what would you tell yourself today if you had a chance to chat to yourself?
If I was talking to myself today (whilst awaiting the arrival of No2), I would say:
– Have a cuppa and a cake, whilst enjoying watch some more back issues of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. But remember to drink lots of water as well.
– Don’t worry about all the well meaning ‘has she arrived yet’ messages – that doesn’t translate to ‘FFS don’t you know your own body well enough to know whether she is coming or not’!
– She just wants to make an grand entrance, plus after all the noise at that chaos/mayhem called a 4yr old’s soft play party at the weekend, she probably thought she was safer staying inside for a bit longer ;o)
– If your instinct is to stay in, be quiet and be a hermit for a while, then go for it; This is probably the last time you will have a baby in your tummy again or a chance to rest for about 4yrs, so try to make the most of it.