So everyone is against bullying, and there are loads of people saying that we need to get rid of it. But is that really true?
For one thing, it’s impossible, bullying has always has been, and always will be. So anyone attempting to remove it totally, is just wasting time and effort. (That doesn’t mean we can’t change where it is, or how it happens!).
But for another thing, where would we really be without it? Ignore the fact that it’s painful to be on the receiving end of it for a moment (I’ve experienced enough of it, to know exactly how you feel about it). But think about it pragmatically. Did you need to learn to stand up for yourself? Or did it make you study more, because you weren’t going out partying with the cool kids? Or did it mean you got a pile of friends who weren’t as cool, but really nice?
There are kids who are terribly traumatised by the fact that they were being bullied at school, and I am not in any way under-estimating how they feel. I’m just suggesting, that telling them that they are a victim of bullying will make them even more unhappy and disempowered. Whereas looking for who is not bullying them, and who loves them, and what they are gaining from the bullying, will lead them to understand life, and come out of it strong and empowered.
Yes, it is heart-wrenching to see your child unhappy. But, give them the tools to stand up and be counted, and take the control of their life, rather than be controlled by it.
If you would like some help with seeing why on earth bullying is helping your child, please feel free to contact me, I would love to help.
Note: All kids are different, so what they get out of bullying will be different. Unless you really know a child’s situation fully, it can be difficult to see why it would help them to be bullied, so try not to jump to conclusions.