Mummy Whisperer Blog Has Moved

Now, you should probably not even see this post, as when you go to my site, it will automatically have moved, but just incase, I thought I’d let you know that my blog has been redesigned and moved to:

http://www.MummyWhispererBlog.com

If you ever fancy having your own blog setup or moved, then I highly recommend the gorgeous Liz Grayson, a well known mummy blogger herself, who has done many of the best known blogs (plus she is incredibly good value!):

http://violetposy.co.uk/

Please update your readers:

I have done the whole feed move bit too, but just incase you might want to double check your reader and make sure that you have the new RSS feed.  You aren’t going to want to miss the new and improved site!  There’s going to be lots more blogs, and some exciting new information!

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Pregnancy Second Time Around

Apologies for people who have read this post before.  I originally had it as a Page on my blog, but I have a big redesign of my blog coming up in the next month, and so I’m cutting down on the pages.  I wrote this over a year ago when I was pregnant with Little Dimples.

So I’m quite enjoying pregnancy 2nd time around, because it is reminding me of how things were with Curly Headed Boy, that I probably didn’t notice as I was so shocked to be pregnant.  It’s surprisingly different, with a few similarities, and so (just for me, to be honest!) I thought I’d keep a record of how it goes!

So far, the main difference is finding out about 3 weeks earlier than before.  Although, it was still a surprise as I was thinking that as I was miraculously lucky to fall pregnant last time, that I might be unlikely to manage it a 2nd time 4yrs later, and with the big FOUR ZERO approaching!  But I did think that I might try in the Autumn, once my business was more settled and I had had a BIG party and holiday.  Heh ho, this baby obviously also doesn’t think to inform me of it’s plans, like it’s big brother ;o)

This time the symptoms hit like a freight train, like all the energy in my body had been removed forever, and the all day nausea returned as a very unwelcome memory, with an added bonus of a constant upset tummy this time round.  Thankfully curly headed boy is very excited and pretty understanding, as he has been broody for a year (he’s 3.5) and told me 6 months ago to take the eggs out of the fridge, Daddy would cook them and then pop them in my tummy!

BabyNo2 prefers healthy food – how weird!  No chocolate thank you, but still partial to salt & vinegar crisps and tonic water.  Plus they must be small portions, which means I’m currently losing weight whilst pregnant, which is a novelty.  Also, whilst curly headed boy was like a lovely hot water bottle in my tummy, keeping my normally cold body warm day and night, BabyNo2 is cccccooooollllld, which means I’m freeeeeeezing!

The ‘baby brain’ appeared instantly, meaning that anything that was perfectly normal for me to remember before, like my keys, turning on the oven, or my diary, is now totally impossible for me.  Obviously my brain is focussed on growing toes and fingers and can’t manage more than that at the moment.

Hubby is walking round looking very mature and obviously feeling like a ‘real man’ as he has now created two offspring; a much greater feat than just one.  In fact his Dad announced that we would now have a ‘real family’, because obviously one child doesn’t count.

I know how the universe likes to maintain balance within a family, so I’ve spent long hours looking at the family thinking, OK, so if we are like this, what are we about to create?  If curly headed boy is read headed and fair skinned, with the performer gene ingrained into him from top to toe, are we going to get a serious little dark headed girl, who is serious and studious?  Last time I had all sorts of tragedy and stress during the pregnancy, which I can totally see created curly head.  So what will a relatively ‘normal’ (so far, touch wood) pregnancy create?  Will it mean that they are more independent from the start, not needing to be held permanently for 3 months?  Or will they miss that spark that he has?

Who knows – got over 6 months to go, so I’m sure there will be even more surprises along the route, which I’ll pop in here as I go.

Insights Into My Mums Choices

Apologies to those who have read this before, as I wrote it when I was pregnant probably over a year ago.  It used to be one of my ‘Pages’, but I’m about to have a bit redesign of my blog and one of the things I’m going to do is reduce the ‘Pages’ and make them into posts instead.

There’s no doubt about it, being in someone else’s shoes always helps to understand their choices more, even if we don’t agree with them.  But becoming a Mum has definitely given me an insight into the rather bizarre woman who was my Mum.  She once said to me ‘You’ll never be a real woman, until you become a mother’, which was a little harsh, as I had been told I couldn’t have kids at 19 ;o)  However, I understand that she is right, that there are aspects of myself that I wouldn’t have tapped into without the arrival of Max, and things I could never had understood without experiencing them.  (But I don’t agree with the ‘real woman’ concept, as I am convinced that a woman can have a fully satisfying life without children, and a dissatisfied one with children).

It’s been many years since I came to terms with my ‘interesting’ upbringing, to the stage where I totally saw why it worked for me, wouldn’t want it any different, and was even grateful for it.  But there were still things I didn’t understand about it and recently there are two insights in particular that I have gained.

1) How a Mum could became addicted to the love of her children, and manipulate the family using a ‘divide and conquer’ strategy.

2) Howcome a Mum would let child nurse her from very young, and encouraged TV watching with her most weekends, rather than going out and be healthy.

The Addiction Of Love

It is an amazing feeling to know that someone loves you so totally.  Max loves me from the top of my head, all the way to my toes, and tells me how ‘beautiful’ I am, especially with my now rather big and pregnant tummy.  I understand that as time goes on, I wont be quite so perfect, friends (already at 4yrs very important) will take pride of place, and there will be times when I’m a bit old and a bit haggard!  But luckily for me I have the confidence in myself and him, to not worry about it, and to know that he will always love me deep down, as I will him (despite shouting sometimes when I am tired and overwrought!).  So, although tempting, I haven’t fallen into the trap of encouraging him to see Mummy as better than Daddy, which is where Mum must have started.  She must then have continued to worry that there could be only so much love like that, and so she ensured that as children we didn’t bond with each other, but just with her.  Why on earth she was so concerned about this I’m not sure, the only thing that I wonder is that I know that her parents where incredibly close, and she had no siblings.  So either she felt that she was competing for love to get it from her parents, or she thought that creating a larger family herself, meant that there would be less love to go around (I have 3 brothers who are 20yrs older than me, and then I arrived as a ‘surprise’ when she was 43, which was very old in those days).

It’s only because I know what I know that I don’t fall for the temptation that she did, so if I had been a less secure person, with less training in my background, it is totally forseeable that I would have behaved in a similar way, even if slightly less as I’m sticking to 2 kids!  I can also really feel for her, because she really managed to maintain a pretty perfect image with me, until all hell let loose as my Dad died when I was 20 and I suddenly found out a great deal about what she had been doing.  So if you have ever considered encouraging your child to appreciate you more than your partner, bear in mind that she then went through 10yrs years of terrible pain, with me being extremely angry with her, which only subsided 11yrs ago as I began to train in the sort of stuff that I do now.

Using TV To Entertain Your Children

As a young child I played outside a great deal on my own, but Mum became ill very soon after my birth, and got steadily more ill with all sorts of problems like blood clotting disorders, arthritis (both types), lung disease etc etc.  So I steadily took on the role of ‘young carer’ more and more.  There was the time that I was left to nurse her at 5yrs old and had to call an ambulance, or the time just after my ‘O’ levels when I nursed her with a broken pelvis and my Dad recovering from a heart attack and a diabetic coma.  She must have been in constant pain, and as I hit teenage my time running around outside dwindled and was replaced either by school work or watching old black and white movies with her.  So why would someone let their child nurse them, rather than get help and encourage them to start an ‘unhealthy’ habit (as I got even older, there were also glasses of wine and cigarettes)?

So, I get pregnant again at 40, the first 15 weeks are terrible, I’m exhausted and feeling awful, during which time I admit that I resorted several times a week to having a bath with Max in the afternoon for a good couple of hours, to play with toys and watch TV (we’d just extended the ensuite luckily & bought one of those fab waterproof TV’s from china; dirt cheap, and I really recommend them!).  There then follows a short period of time where I’m more active.  But then ‘uncomfortable’ descends into full blown SPD (the  body is overly successful at producing relaxin for the ligaments, creating back pain, hot pokers in the hips, and pain at the top of the legs/groin).  Plus in the last couple of weeks, where the snow has hit and I’m still trying to tie up loose ends with my business & admin, I’ve had to work while Max is in the house.  So yes, I have resorted to the babysitter that is the TV, plus those fab websites for Cbeebies and NickJr.

Like Mum, I have no parents to help out (hers died when I was 10).  I’m not sure why she didn’t ask my much older brothers, but I do understand why she didn’t ask other people.   There are times when I have asked, maybe too subtly and found myself very disappointed to find I didn’t get any help.  Then there are the lovely people who I know would definitely offer, but I also know are already over-stretched themselves, so I won’t ask.  And then there is my pride ;o)  She was lonely, and holding onto her ‘last child’, and if she had encouraged me to do more healthy things, she would have been all alone with her pain.  I don’t think that you can be totally rational when in pain either, so she didn’t really think it through.

Now it’s much easier for me, there are all sorts of things available to help me get my body back into working order after No2 arrives, and I have tonnes of knowledge of my own to help out.  I also know that she never got to see her daughter’s children (she died when I was pregnant with Max), and so there is a motivation for me to get healthy and live to see my grand children.  We know a great deal more about health, fitness, nutrition, hydration and exercise now a days.  Plus, seeing someone spend the last 5yrs of their life in a wheel chair, with no dignity and extreme discomfort, is a constant reminder about health.  I may never be a mega fit person, but I do understand ‘use it or lose it’.

Do You Judge Your Mum or Other Mums?

So do you find yourself judging other Mums or even your own Mum?  If so, be careful what you judge, because you may get a chance one day to walk in their shoes and gain a greater understanding, and you might not be lucky enough to make different choices.  Or often, we go to extremes to be completely opposite from our own parents, discovering at the end of the day, that this also didn’t create the ‘ideal’ outcome that we dreamed of.

The ideal is to see that there are benefits (the old silver lining) to everything, and to balance your approaches.  So, I will continue to attempt to walk the middle road between my mother who fought to have us all to herself and my father who didn’t want to be disloyal by pointing out that he wasn’t that bad after all.  My children will have some responsibility in the house, but not to the extent that they feel it all falls on their shoulders.  And I will watch the odd film with them, and be lazy sometimes, but also go out, fly a kite and ride a bike.  And in a year or two’s time when I’m beginning to get a handle on No2’s arrival, then I exercise will become a necessity in my daily schedule, so that I can at least try my best to be still bouncing at 90.  Heh ho, wish me luck, and I wish you all the luck to.  I know that we all just want to be loved just as we are, and we all want to be the best Mums we can be.  Sometimes we’ll discover that there is a better way, but until then, we can only work with what we have.  If I love my life now, then Mum didn’t do a bad job did she?  I only hope that my children love their lives when they are 40 too.

Thanks Mum xxxx

Never discount a chance meeting, it might get you on radio!

I know that we all have busy lives and so logically we will often not bother to chat to or make friends with people in a situation that doesn’t obviously make sense.  But if you are open to it, there are sometimes magical things that will come out of it.  For example, you might really get on well with a Mum when waiting at the school gates, but her child isn’t in the same class, or you find out that someone is moving, so it seems wasteful to spend time on them.  I’m going to tell you a story about how sometimes just following your heart can really work out.

Many years ago (must be about 10), in my very ‘new age’ stage, I attended an ‘animal communication’ course by Amelia Kincade.  I was a Reiki Master (a type of simple hands on healing), and really fancied concentrating on animals.  However, I quickly discovered that it was not my forte!  I think that the most exciting thing I managed to ‘hear’ was something about a blue bowl.  I met some lovely people and one of them mistakenly emailed me afterwards thinking I was a different Lisa.  So we kept in touch on and off over the years, and I think I wrote something for her when she set up a newspaper in London, even though we actually had no idea what we each looked like as it had initially been a case of mistaken identity.  In the meantime I’d gone on to study with my mentor Dr John Demartini, who helped me to combine my tree hugging side with the computer programmer scientific side.  At his first ever UK event in 2007 I heard there was a Francesca helping out with the promotion and so I wandered up and introduced myself to her, and from there a lovely friendship blossomed.

Francesca and I continued to ‘break the rules’.  So when she started up a networking event for key members of a new online community, she invited me, even though that meant bringing my toddler with me.  There we all were, seriously discussing missions and all sorts of other blah blah stuff, with curly headed boy joining in and wandering in between everybody’s legs.  He called Francesca ‘sparkly lady’ because she always wore sparkly clothes or a sparkly necklace, and fell in love with her brother-in-law who has the same rock star red curly shoulder length hair and showed him how to play his guitar.

I get 15 minutes some mornings to make phone calls enroute back from the school run as Little Dimples stays at home with the little irish granny I have adopted, so a couple of weeks ago I put a pile of names in my favourite’s list as a treat to call and Francesca was at the top of my list.  So, we’re catching up about everything we are doing, and she mentions that she has just started co-hosting an internet radio show on Wednesday’s which is all about ‘Creating our own reality’, and within minutes I was invited on.

So yesterday morning, a chance meeting on a very new agey course had me doing my very first ever radio interview.  I was pretty scared, but apparently I sound really calm.  Must have been Carl’s meditation that I was listening too as I was having problems with logging on that kept me calm!  I really recommend their show, as Carl and Francesca are not your typical new agers, and they have great ideas to share with a huge dose of sense of humour.

Here’s the URL if you fancy listening to my show:  BarefootBroadcaster.  I talked about all sorts of things, and they’ve asked me back, so I’m really chuffed.  They particularly wanted to focus on how we ‘create our own reality’, and we’re keen to hear how I’d gone from being told I was ‘barren’ at 19, to having 2 kids at 41.  So we chatted about that, and about not pushing to achieve your goals, but using a more intuitive or heart led approach.  Carl was also really interested in the fact that I do baby signing with the kids, which reminded me that I really must blog about that soon, as Little Dimples has just started the classes and is loving it.  We finished off on something that I am very passionate about, which is how as parents we can help our kids to know who they are from the start, rather than have to wait until they are 30, 40 or 50 to have a clue.

So, don’t get all freaky about keeping in touch with everyone you ever meet.  But remember that sometimes it’s worth it, because there are special people out there who don’t quite ‘fit with the plan’ or logic of life, but we feel drawn to them.  I’ve seen lots of mums in the mornings (me too sometimes), not even noticing that there are Mums in different classes.  In fact, they are so unaware, they walk through Curly Headed Boy’s line as the kids are walking into the class room.  It won’t do the kids any harm to keep looking out of the box and noticing other kids in the play ground, so there’s always space for us to do the same.

Right, off to write a post for next week, as it’s half term, so I wont get time then.

This is how come we haven’t gone anywhere by car for 9 months!

When Little Dimples was born I had a theory, that having had a rubbish sleeper who hated cars, I would most probably get a fabulous sleeper, who loved cars, but to balance it out was trickier during the day (curly headed boy was pretty easy, despite a wish to be held a lot).  But it didn’t work out that way!  She HATES the car, and is only a smidgen better at sleeping; probably because I went straight for co-sleeping this time.  This means that we have a pile of patient people out there who haven’t seen us for probably 10months or more, unless they were willing to travel.  I imagine that some think that we are exaggerating though, and if I hear one more time ‘Really, my child slept in the car!’.

So here is the reason why I eventually started to pay a lovely little old lady to look after Willow to reduce the car trips from 20 to 10 per week.  Yes, it does go on, and on, and on, and in fact this is not her at her worst, because after 5mins she also goes bright red and starts to sweat (no I did not purposely put her in the car to record this video).  Once started there is no way to get through to her.  We’ve tried toys, holding her hand, constant nursery rhymes, music, mirrors, different times of day, different car seats, a chiropractor, making it more comfy, making it less comfy, loads of things!

There are 2 rays of light though:

  • Curly Headed Boy was the same, but when we turned him round to the front facing seat at 9 months, he was fine.  Little Dimples should be big enough when she reaches 10 months, so not much longer to go.
  • Mickey Mouse and an Ipad have come to our rescue and at least 50% of the 10 remaining school trips are OK, because she can sometimes last 15 minutes!  This might sound like a bizzare or expensive option, but after many hours I promise you, you’d pay anything.  Goodness knows what it is about Mickey, but Little Dimples has loved him since the first moment she clapped eyes on him (yes, I am a bad mother, who watches Disney and Cbeebies with her kids).  On the iPad (which appeared for my birthday after we tested it out, lucky me!), he is incredibly clear, so he gets hung on a piece of string over the headrest in the car.

If you happen to come by this post because you too have a screaming baby in the car, then try all the things I mentioned, but if the worst comes to the worst, just remember that it will be over and try to reduce the numbers of times that your baby gets that stressed out, as it is not good for their brain development.  There are advantages to having to stay put sometimes.  It saved us tonnes of money because we couldn’t face travelling to Devon for a holiday, and couldn’t find anywhere abroad from the nearest airport by train.  I am really tired, especially after falling ill, so it reduces the stress levels as travelling with a baby is tough.  Plus, those ‘free’ weekends when we would have travelled to visit people, have instead been times that we have been consolidating, ebaying and freecyling our house; it’s beginning to look really sorted.

So a big ‘Thank you’ to all those family and friends who have been so kind as to visit us this year; just hold on, it’ll get better come 2011 and we’ll try to make it up to you!  To those in the same position, breathe and remember that ‘this too shall pass’.  To all those who hate TV and think it destroys children’s brains, my baby’s brain would be much more detrimentally affected without Mickey; there is never one rule for everyone and if you don’t recognise that there is a benefit to everything somewhere, then you are not trying to address the problem clearly.

Help, Am I Deluded?

I’ve met my fair share of coach/therapist/healer types who were extremely deluded about either their grandiose plans, their skills or their market actually wanting them. There have also been a fair amount if people with a great deal less training and experience than me, who were a load better at marketing and therefore a hell of a lot more financially successful. So the question is, am I deluded too, or is it just a matter of my marketing skills needing a polish?

The thing is, I’ve spent nearly 11yrs in this business in one form or another, and although I’ve enjoyed it, and it’s enriched my life with less stress, 2 miracle kids, a lasting relationship and a feeling of contentment, it hasn’t done so financially. I’ve got to ‘that time’, it’s ‘make or break’. I’ve decided to focus on mums as it is a subject close to my heart. I’ve got a fab new way of doing my coaching online, which makes it more accessible and affordable for mums. Lastly, I’ve signed up for a ‘bootcamp’ to help me launch my new product. But is it doomed to failure, because no one wants it or me?

Let’s back track a bit. When I became a mum, I realised that the training I had received was brilliant, and saved me many hours of angst. But it was also inappropriate for a mums time and resource limitations, so I created the mummy whisperer program. I saw all these mums talking/blogging about losing their identity, having problems with conflict or lack of communication in their families, and getting stressed out because they thought they/their kids/partners/life should be different. My thought process was that they ‘needed’ all these things I could do to help them be more contented with their lives and grow strong families. But, do mums really want it? That is, it might sound nice, and a few might sign up, but are there enough who REALLY want it? And would they want me? And would they pay enough to make them appreciate it and give me a fair level of earnings?

Apparently, I am meant to focus on a smaller niche than just mums, one where I have experience, credibility and contacts. The idea is if I focus on a niche, my message will be clearer and will get more mums signing up. So that has made me decide to focus on mums with kids starting nursery or school. Not new mums of babies, because my longer term plan is to provide them with a book, and not mums of teens because I don’t have teenagers yet. But if there is a market, the next question I’m facing is wether I need to cut it down even smaller to: working mums, work from home mums, or stay at home mums. Now I reckon that my program would help them all, especially as they all face guilt and work/life/rest/play balance in some way shape or form. But I can also see several potential problems, especially that working mums don’t have enough time left over to make their lives easier, and SAHM’s wouldn’t want to spend the money on themselves. By creating a program that can be worked through online, I was hoping that mums could fit it into their lives more easily, and by giving a payment option over 3 months with a 14 day free trial it would make it more affordable. But that might not be enough, or is that where marketing comes in?

There is an even bigger problem as well! What I’m offering is a way for a mum to be more sure of themselves and listen to their own natural instinct and knowledge of their family, instead of a one-size fits all parenting technique. But do mums want an answer tailored to their own family, which leaves them in the driving seat, or would they prefer to be told what to do according to a set of rules, even if it’s pretty much impossible to create? If there are mums who like the idea of what I offer, does that mean that they are already going that way and so don’t need my help?

In the past I have specialised in mental health issues, relationship problems and small business owners. Perhaps a mum facing the loss of her marriage, mental health or business would be more likely to ask for help. But if that is the case, then I’m going to have to take more time off work, because I don’t currently have the time to support these more extreme demands; I was planning on tackling them later.

What do you reckon? I’d really appreciate any feedback (be gentle please!; so I’m going to offer a copy of my book ‘getting the hang of gratitude’ to one of the people who leave a comment (I’ll use some random fair way of selecting!).

It’s All Change On The Western Front

It’s been a weird 6 months, I appear to have been in mega ‘declutter your life’ mode.  You would have thought that giving birth to little dimples, and curly headed boy going to primary school would have been enough really, plus getting really sick.  But I appear to have been on a mission.

Maybe it’s because now I have two kids, there really isn’t any space for anything that is irrelevant or takes up time/space I can’t afford?  Did anyone else find a similar thing happened to them after having a second child?

I’m also much more aware of my age (41), and am having no problem in remembering to eat healthily or take vitamins and minerals that I probably wouldn’t have been reliable about beforehand.  I realised that if I’m to see my grandchildren, then some serious work needs to be done to get it into working order.  Perhaps it’s a big reality check that happens in your forties?

Or is it because it’s my ‘saturn return’ in astrological terms or ‘mid-life crisis’ in psychobabble terms?  My lovely astrologer (seriously, if you ever wanted to try it, he’s a lovely guy, brilliant value, very good at it and it doesn’t matter where you live) did say that it was hitting me this year.

I’ve found a wonderful woman locally who will take all the stuff  you just haven’t managed to get round to selling on ebay and do it for you (if you near St Albans and want her name, feel free to leave a comment below).  Although she takes a fee, I reckon that she makes more on the sale anyway, so it’s well worth it.  She took a car load, plus sold a bike and a dog kennel that got picked up from our home.  Then even better was the discovery of freegle (used to be called freecyle), which is a yahoo group where you can offer ANYTHING for free and within 24hrs it’s gone; FANTASTIC!

We had a flood from the shower, so downstairs is going to be refloored (we have holes in the floor from the dog scratching) and the walls painted in industrial child proof stuff!  So the house is getting a make over too.

I even in a fit of madness went from this, to this (plus yesterday I had all the grey dyed out!):

Meanwhile big northern hairy hubby is also at it, with a sudden fitness regime and a success at losing weight that he hasn’t had in 10yrs.  I think that we would both admit that our relationship needs a bit of polishing after all these years (21, how scary!), so there is change afoot there too.

The biggest change came as I decided what to do about my work.  I found it increasingly hard to work out how things would work with the second baby.  Now that I’m just focussing on Mums and am just overseeing my more general therapy business, it was easier, but also I realised that coordinating our schedules was almost impossible.  Plus for Mums I really needed to be able to provide incredible value for service for a really affordable price, but without making it pointless me working.  I was seriously considering just giving up work.  After all, I could be a stay at home mum (SAHM), and in the time I would normally work, I could get fit, look fab, and then when the kids leave school I’ll be about 60, so pretty much ready to retire.  There would be a hell of a lot less juggling to do.  But there would of course be the downside that I lose my sparkle when I don’t work at all, so I might look better, but I wouldn’t be much fun.

By the way, you might not know what I actually do?  I’ve updated by about page and background, just incase you are interested as to where I came from, and what my qualifications are.  But basically, I’m not a parenting coach.  I call myself a ‘mummy whisperer’, because I’m just here to help the mum to be clear on who they are, become more contented, get more sparkle in their lives, and create a strong family with less conflict and stress.  (There’s lots more information on this blog about the ‘fun creation equation‘ and my services, plus on my main site).

Then out of the blue I found my solution!  It’s so exciting, I’ve kept quiet about it all summer, because I wanted to show you what it would look like before I mentioned it.  I’ve found a way, that I can provide help for Mums ANYWHERE, at ANY TIME of the day, 24×7, ANY DAY of the week, for ANY LENGTH of time.  Plus the amount of stuff I’ve put in the package is well worth about £7000, but I can sell it from £379, with the option to pay by paypal/credit card over 3 months, so it is really affordable.  Plus, it will be there for the Mums FOREVER, to reuse over and over again, for that one price.  Plus, for anyone who can’t afford it initially, I’ve got a FREE INTRODUCTION, and will be adding a £27 product to help people sort out their finances.  It’s way better than just 1to1’s because all the information is there to be referred back to at any time, and better than workshops, because no one can slip through the cracks and pretend that they understand. (Please forgive me for the shouting in capitals, but I’ve been keeping quiet about this all summer, so I’m kind of over-excited!!).

‘So what on earth is it?’, I hear you ask (hopefully?!).  It’s using a product called **jigsawbox, funnily enough created by another Mum who must have been in the same situation as me.  It means that I can put my workbooks or workshops online into packages.  When you login, there will be different modules, inside of which will be videos, audios, and text explaining that particular subject.  Then to help you learn it properly there are exercises for you to fill out.  But the best bit is, when you press [send to coach], I can then add my own feedback, so we can interact online.  There will also be the option for free webinars, or to add 15min skype chats or longer 1to1 sessions for some Mums who need more assistance (for example, if there are relationship issues, PND, or past abusive relationships).

Now I haven’t done a video to show you properly yet, but I will do, so keep a look out for it.  But in the meantime, you can get a free introduction to this fab system, plus start to have a look at your own identity and how your family is working at the moment, by signing up for free email list (see RHS).  I’d love to know what you think, so please do leave comments below.

So how come has all this come about?  Well, it might sound a bit tree hugging, but I’m sure there is a vibe of change in the air.  I was too late to get involved in *** Josie’s (a well known mummy bloggerwriting workshop about change last week, but there seems to be a lot of it about.  It’s the jewish new year, and schools always start at this time of the year, so maybe we are all programmed to be thinking about it around now.  There are days when it feels exciting, and others when it feels very scary, and almost like I’m grieving for something being over.  I cried buckets on the last night of big brother, and when curly headed boy started school, but in a way they were just opportunities for a few tears to do with something deeper.  As my mentor says ‘the greatest transformation happens at the border of order and chaos’, i.e. nothing gets changed without some discomfort!  So onwards and upwards, one step at a time, is my motto at the moment.

Is life changing for you too, or is it just those of us in the mid-life crisis?

** I am now an affiliate of jigsawbox as well; of course, because I think it is fab, I want to share it with other coaches/therapist/trainers out there.  If you decide you like it after hearing from me, feel free to email me for more info, and I’d really appreciate you using my affiliate link.  I haven’t found anything else that even matches it a little, it has been going for over a year, so the kinks have been sorted out, and there is tonnes of support.

*** Josie is one of the 3 mummy bloggers who recently went to bangladesh with Save the Children, and have started a Press for Change campaign to push Nick Clegg to commit to making the huge rates of child mortality in third world countries a thing of the past.